Working from home week #30

The struggle was real this weekend. I had a mental breakdown over the weekend, then all of a sudden the reset of the week got better. What a rollercoaster, I don’t know how my brain handles all of this craziness.

Over the weekend I had a mental breakdown. I’ve written a blog about it, but am not too anxious to share it, but it’s posted anyway. It it my confession of the deficiencies of my brain lol. I laugh otherwise I’d be crying about it. I’ve done enough of that over the weekend. Why? No idea! My brain sucks.

It’s Monday, and today I woke up with a little bit more energy than I have had all of last week or even weeks. I’ve been down and have been having a hard time getting my spirits back up. But today, I am feeling better than last week and get out of bed earlier than my usual time. I make my breakfast. Then clean up the kitchen including washing, drying and putting the morning dishes away. I then get dressed and take all of my medicines for the morning hours. I also make the bed and clean up the bedroom/office. I’ve had a bunch of paperwork that I need to send in to work and it is all over the place. I have scanned everything, sent it in to my HR representative and then placed them all away. After that, I get to my work email and I have plenty of emails to look through. As for my personal emails, I have enough to keep me busy for a couple of days. I have a couple of email addresses and each has it’s own purpose. The one that has my daughter’s school and medical emails, that is all up to date and tidy. The other ones, not so much. As for the one that I get all of my advertisements, such as sales and other random emails, that one is full. I’ll get to it eventually as I mainly delete everything. I don’t have time to shop right now, plus we are trying to save for a few projects on the house. So no buying of anything.
During the day it’s all work and no play. Lots to do. Skipped lunch again today as there is a lot on my plate while working for the man. In the evening we do more and more homework with the little one. It just doesn’t end with the school work.

It’s Tuesday and I feel refreshed. I’ve been feeling a down, but this morning I am focused. I take a nice shower in the morning and get properly dressed for work. Work dress pants and all. Maybe getting nicely dressed for work will take me out of my funk.
After a few hours at work and so far so good, I’m still focused. I’ve had meetings on top of meetings, all of the meetings are over the phone, none are on video. But, getting “dressed” for work has made me a little more confident today. Seems like my funk is going away. Yay!

It’s Wednesday and there are meetings after meetings today. No time for anything else but meetings. There were meetings in the morning hours. Skipped lunch as there was a meeting at noon until three thirty then another one overlapping that started at three. Then another one at three thirty to four. And finally the famous four to five meeting. Hate those, but they are necessary. I finally get some work done between the hours of five and seven.
After this tremendous fun day it gets better. We noticed the pipes in house may be clogged. My husband went to the basement to try and fix it, to no avail. We were there for hours working on this fix. The water spewed out and the entire section of the basement floor got wet. We put a towel on the floor but, it didn’t really pick up anything as it was soaked. We also placed a nice and big bucket underneath the pipes to fill in with the gushing water. That water was all dirty and it stunk. Oh the joys of being a homeowner.
We then tried to put the water hose down the pipe to see it if would clean it out and of course, it didn’t do a darn thing. By eleven, my husband gave up and said he would need to go to home depot in order to get a rent a machine to clean out the pipes.
We placed the lid of the pipe back on and I became the cleanup crew. I took all of the water that collected and took it up the stairs and dumped it out the door. I must have gone up and down the stairs a dozen times in order to get all of the water out of that big bucket. Next I cleaned the water up with a shopvac. Thank goodness we have one of these. This thing cleans up really well. Then I dumped all of the water that was in the vacuum and noticed that it was filled with dirt and dust as well. My dumb ass forgot to see if it had anything in it before starting to vacuum up the water. Now I have more cleaning to do. When everything was all done, I took a baby wipe bath as I was all sweaty from the cleanup work. Can’t wait until I’m able to take a nice shower. By midnight or so I was all done and to bed I went.

It’s Thursday and we still can’t use the facilities nor use any of the faucets. So, it’s like were camping. We gotta go do our business outside. I got myself a bucket and did my business outside and then cleaned it up of course. We also have a bucket in the sink for hand and dish washing. After breakfast, I washed all of the dishes that were in the bucket and put them all away, then threw the water outside. It felt like I was in the mid 1900 without indoor plumbing. I laughed when I had to do this as I remembered my early childhood. When my family and I were living in Portugal in my mother’s parents old house, we too did not have indoor plumbing for a while. We would have to do the same thing. Except we would need to get the water from an outside source. To be honest, I don’t remember where the water came from. I just remember that I had to do my business in a small bucket also known as a peecan or a my mother called it a “peniquo.” Of course I was a small child and did not go outside like the adults. At one point, I remember having a toilet installed in the house as well as running water. Good old times. Not for my mother as I’m sure that was a lot of work with three children in tow. But we did what we had to do those days.
As for the plumbing in our house, we decided to get someone to come on over as opposed to going to the hardware store. We probably would have spent the same amount of money or even more because we’re not plumbers. So, I called a plumber right in the morning and he ensured me that he would come to the house in the evening. He wound up coming to the house by two in the afternoon. He did the inspection in the basement and then got his tools. I then had a meeting for work. Surprise, surprise, right?! Another meeting. I was heading the meeting so I had to be there. Anyway, I got into my meeting and the plumber got to his work. The plumber was finished with his work before I was finished with my meeting. Fantastic!! I was so happy and impressed. Now, we can use the facilities inside the house instead of using our outdoor outhouse. And, best of all, take a shower.
In the evening, I pay bills and getting back to work. Since I had a bunch of meetings today and was not able to get all of my work done. So here I am. Taking a break and doing my blog and then back to the grind of doing my work for the man.
I continued to work and work until I couldn’t do it anymore, until about nine. And then, I did a bad thing. I watched the Presidential debate. What I liked it was that the mediator was able to keep up with the candidates. As a former broadcaster wanna be, I think Kristen Welker did a great job keeping up with the both of them. I’m sure it wasn’t an easy task.

It’s Friday and I am having a hard time getting started. I’ve woken up a few minutes later than I wanted. I had breakfast, buttered bagel and a cup of coffee, but I’m still struggling. Usually after breakfast, I have a kickstart and all gets better as my issue tends to be hunger. However, I’ve eaten and taken all of my medicine and I continue to be down and out. During my morning meeting, I had my headphones on and my eyes closed. Oh brother this can’t be good. I was listening but not necessarily paying attention. That’s ok, at least for this meeting. We always have an email with the meeting minutes prepared afterwards. If I missed anything, I have the email to refer back to. To get out of my slowness, I’ve tried listening to some happy music but that didn’t work. Then I was listening to a podcast and that was turned off right away as I was not in the mood to listen to anyone talk. I then played the Elvis Duran morning show and let that play in the background as I worked. I’m used to their voices and theirs didn’t bother me that much, so I left the on.
It’s the afternoon and I continue to not have any energy. I’ve taken my daily vitamin and still nothing. It’s also a gloomy day outside and maybe that is why I’m on the non energy train. I truly hope that my funk isn’t coming back. I’ve been having rough weeks and don’t need another one.

Struggling in Orange

Over the weekend I am on a mission to clean up the bedroom. It hasn’t been deep dusted in a while and it needs it. My husband keeps on sneezing and he thinks it’s the dust. I’m thinking it’s seasonal allergies, but I do the work anyway. I get out all of the supplies and put my back into it. I dust and dust. I clean around the windows, then clean underneath the furniture and the bed. He is absolutely correct, there is a lot of dust underneath there. I found a whole lotta dust bunnies lol. Then I take out the vacuum and clean it all up. I wonder how the house gets so dusty.
After that, it was time for some closet cleaning, I’ve had a pair of shoes that I’ve been wearing around the house. They are a pair of summer boat shoes that are a little too big for me, so they have been my “house” shoes for a while. I’m not a big fan of slippers as they can get too hot on my feet and those shoes were just right, warmth wise. These were the shoes that I would wear when I was “at work.” As soon as the work day was over, I’d take them off and go about my business. But they started giving me blisters. At one point I had a pimple on my toe. Who gets pimples on their toes? It was itchy as all get out. So these need to go. Bye shoes it’s been fun working from home with you, but you gotta go.
I then opened up my wardrobe where I have my pjs stored. I have a couple of pairs of shots from when I played soccer. It’s been a few years since my soccer days. Like 10 or so, maybe 15. I used to use them when I was working in the yard as they are comfortable and they dry quickly. But, the elastic has gone and I still have them stored away. Why? So I get the five pair of these shorts and put out too. I can’t even donate them, they are so un-useable at this point.

The little one photobombing the picture

In the afternoon, I went back to the eye doctor with the family. They had my glasses and contacts ready for me to pick up. I was in the office for a good half hour. They couldn’t find the contacts boxes. The ladies who work there looked and looked and they couldn’t find anything. Meanwhile, there was a man who was fixing my frames so they would fit my face properly. The glasses had to be adjusted a few times before they fit right. In the end the ladies at the office told me they’d have to mail me the contacts as they truly could not find them in the office. I was willing to go back to pick them up, but they were nice enough to say they’d mail them over. Even better, I won’t need to get out of the house. Staying nice and put.
After, I was trying to take a picture of myself with my new glasses to show you all but my little one kept on photobombing me lol. She wants to show off her pokemon toys that she loves so much. My new glasses are now a black frame as opposed to my usual brown colors. Figured, I’d change it up a bit. Plus, I liked this style better than the alternative.
I eventually was able to take a photo without the little one photobombing, but this was while she was being entertained by daddy. Daddy decided that it would be a good idea to watch a spooky movie tonight in celebration of the spooky season. He decided to put on The Poltergeist. I turned to him and said NO, she’s going to have nightmares with this movie. The little girl being taken by the ghosts. It’s going to scare the pants off of her. But he kept it on and she was a good sport. We kept on telling her it is just a movie and nothing is real. The ghosts are all tricks of the movie people. Everything is done on computers and nothing is real. Everything is like the Halloween animatronics that she loves so much. After The Poltergeist, we turned on a funny Halloween movie and that fixed our brains from scary to silly. It was a HappyMadisson movie with Adam Sandler so it was really silly. That is when I was able to get away for a little bit and take a picture to show you all my new glasses without being photobombed.

My new eye wear

Until next time.
Stay safe.

Thoughts for the weekend

2020 keeps on happening. Including my brain take over.
Don’t want to read my blog. Check out my video below or read it whatever you want.

Over the weekend, my depression really kicked in. I’ve been thinking and thinking over and over, if I should share this information or not but, I’ve gotten to the conclusion that if I don’t share, it’ll be in my brain and never come out. So here goes. I’ve been taking medicine for depression for a long time. It became really bad after giving birth to my daughter. My postpartum was filled with depression and anxiety and thoughts of fear and quite frankly suicide. It was awful. I struggled a lot, but continued to fight for my daughter. But, this is a story for another blog.
As for the medicine; sometimes, it just doesn’t work. I’ve been upset about everything and everything upsets me. Not being able to figure out something from work really gets me worked up and I keep on ruminating on how dumb I feel when I can’t figure something out. This something is probably so simple, that I’m having trouble getting through the hump of my depression. My husband has tried to be helpful as has my mother in law. But my brain just can not kick it out of the way. Anyone else have that issue? When you’ve got something in your head, that is probably going to sabotage your day, but your brain just can’t get over it? This is how I’m feeling over the weekend.
I’ve felt a little like this during the week as well. Keeping busy with work helps to keep me in focused mode and not think about my depression. Luckily, this will most likely pass. I’ve had this feeling in the past and then it goes away. But unfortunately, in about a month or so, it comes back again. It’s seriously annoying at times, and during this time of depression, I’m just not sure what to do with myself.
When I feel all sorts of down, I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to go for a walk or run, I barely want to eat. Until about 5PM rolls around and my system can’t take it anymore and I need to get something in my belly before I pass out. Anyway, I don’t know how I can kick this awful feeling.
One thing that I do to get my mind out of my own head is to color an adult coloring book. I got this one for Christmas last year and I’ve been coloring it on days that I feel like this. It does not make me feel better, but it does keep my mind distracted from, well, stupid thoughts. But, then my daughter also wants to get in, on the coloring. She wants to make everything rainbow color. She’s a happy kid and wants everything happy. Meanwhile, the page that I’m working on is mainly monochrome colors with the exception of the rainbow colored section that she worked on. I’ve asked her to color on her coloring book; we have the same coloring book. Twinsies! We’ve gotten the same exact one for her so she cold have one of her own and not color on mine. But that doesn’t work on the mind of a six year old. She wants to share and color from the same book. How do I say NO to her? Well easy, right? By telling her, “No baby girl, you color on your own book that santa got for you.” It’s just that she has the personality of a persistent person. She will talk herself into anything. She is like her daddy that way. Where, she will talk and talk and talk until she gets her way. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a great feature in ones personality to have. But, I don’t have that, I’m a very reserved person and a lot of people think I’m probably dumb, because I don’t talk a lot. I’m not the mingling type. I’m more of an observer and a thinker and not much of a talker. Most of the times you don’t want to know what I’m thinking anyway as it’s probably not pretty or maybe I think it’s a dumb thought and it will not add to the conversation. Some of the times, I’m in another planet and thinking about what I need to do tomorrow or what I need to do for work, or maybe I’m thinking of what my mom would think in this situation. I, for the most part will think it’s irrelevant to the conversation and will not give my opinion.
This is one of the reasons why I have a blog. I get to put some of my thought on “paper” and release some of the tension that I have on my shoulders. Yes, some of my idiotic thoughts get to placed on here. At this point, I’m looking to get my thoughts out there and leave them out there. If it creates a conversation; great! If it doesn’t, it’s ok. I am here to get my thoughts out and maybe even help someone who feels the same way. If so, you are not alone. If you don’t get it, then, trust me, you are not alone either. Having major depression and anxiety is not easy for someone to understand if they don’t go through it themselves. I’ve gotten the version of “suck it up, buttercup” when speaking with loved ones. I know they are trying to help. And, hey, some days, that is exactly what is needed. You look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself; it’s enough. Enough of felling like crap and it’s time to start sucking it up and keep going. Life is about the journey after all. But, for me, sometimes telling me to suck it up, simply makes me feel worst. Some days, like today, I really wish I could just suck it up and go.
The worst time for me however, is when I have down time. Down time makes me think and be unfocused. I need to be focused in order to be “fine.” I need something that will keep my mind occupied. I simply need a hobby, maybe. One that I can keep up with. This is something that my oldest brother tells me. Well, my hobby right now is to write my thoughts. But I can’t do this all day long. Then, my family wouldn’t see me at all, since I am in my bedroom/office behind a closed door in order to do my blog and concentrate on what I’m doing.
I feel bad doing this blog, since my daughter has already asked me to not be on the computer so much, especially over the weekends. But this is when I have time. But, she wants to play and learn and see me. Which makes me feel loved. But, during the seasons of my deepest depression, all I want is to be in solitude. During these times I listen/watch self help videos on youtube. But during seasons like this, they go in one ear and out the other. I listen to great advise such as: “you are enough” and “today is the best version of me.” Another great advise is to “push yourself,” “be productive” or “quit living in the past.”
I place all of these quotes in my journal. And keep telling my self the same thing everyday including, “I have a great memory.” In reality, my memory is a mess. Same issue from postpartum. I was in the hospital in an induced coma and may have lost some oxygen during this time and my memory took it’s toll. But there is nothing I can do at this point but, just keep looking forward.
This afternoon, I’ve been looking through my books related to museums and artist’s paintings. Not sure why, but looking though these books make me happy when I’m feeling down. I love to see the expression that these painters had in mind when they were painting. Another book I love, if the one from the Isabella Gardner Museum from Boston, Massachusetts. We visited many years ago and I loved it so much that we bought the book they had for sale. It has the collection that Isabella has placed in her home which is now the museum. I look through it at times that I feel down.
Eventually, my medicine does kick in and I am feeling better. I have an extender for my depression medication and it’s helpful. I have to take it throughout the day in order for it to work properly. I need to do this every single day. This is my life now!
These are my thoughts for the weekend. I hope you and your family are doing well during this covid-19 season.

Until next time.
Stay Safe.

Working from home week #29

This week has been one of those weeks where I had some time off to recharge my batteries. I’ve gone to much needed doctors appointments and launched yet another product on one of my sites. Much work to be done and little time to do it all.

Over the weekend we’ve had some tragic news in the family. I’ve tried to figure out, out of the four sisters, which aunt has passed away over the weekend from covid. I’ve tried and tried calling my father’s cell phone, but he is not answering. He probably hasn’t charged the phone. He tends to forget to do that and then the battery is dead and I can’t talk to him. Either that, or he’s placed the phone in one of his pockets and doesn’t know which one he’s left it in. Well, since the extended family is in Portugal, there is nothing much we can do in the States. Over the weekend, I prayed for my aunt and the family and I wish everyone well. I wish I could get in touch with them, because when one person has covid, another may also have it as this awful virus spreads fast. I’m hoping everyone else from the family is ok.
On Sunday I did a bit of self care as my husband and the little one to a trip out to the store this afternoon. I’ve needed to get my hair done for a few months now, so I decided it was time. So I did it myself. It did not turn out the way I wanted it, at all. It came out much lighter than I wanted. I used a level 5 of color and I should have known it wasn’t right. The box stated, light brown. My hair is a darker brown, but I did it anyway, I put the wrong color on my head. And the result wasn’t as anticipated. Good thing I don’t have anywhere to go and show my face. At this point, I don’t look like a clown, but it’s not exactly the color that I should have chosen. Now I know, for next time I will go darker. From my many years of working at the beauty supply store, I understand that going darker is easy. Going lighter is the hard part. You have to make sure the hair doesn’t turn a shade of green or red. If it does there are ways to fix that. But a colorist is always the best way to go.

It’s Monday and I have the day off today from work. I’m using this day as one of my vacation days. I still have a few left and I need to decide which days to take off. Working from home and not going anywhere due to covid, there isn’t much to do besides being at home. Maybe I’ll read a book or write more blogs. Maybe read to my little one or having her read her books online. Meanwhile, I’m continuing to look for courses online for being a BA. I’ve also found there is a job posting for a Sr. Specialist in marketing for a different department in my company. I’ve advertised this on my linkedin profile. If anyone is interested, please, feel free to contact me via here, linkedin or anywhere. I can send your resume directly to the HR department. Having a resume go in through an employee will most likely get their packet seen by the HR department sooner than if it comes from the outside. Let me know if you or someone you know is interested, good luck!
As for today, I’ve decided to sleep in my little one is off as well for the holiday, columbus day or indigenous peoples day, whichever you choose. The school calendar states columbus, but we all know it’s right for our indigenous people to be recognized. After I woke up, I turned on netflix and watched Emily, In Paris. I’ve heard that it’s like the show Sex in the City, fashion wise. My take; it’s ok. It’s cute. And the fashion is just right. They do speak French on the show and it’s setting is in Paris. I’ve taken French all throughout high school. And I need to read the subtitles. They speak very fast. On the show, we get to see the sights and see the fashion and the way they live over in Paris. But it doesn’t get to the nitty gritty of Emily’s life. For example, she doesn’t speak French, but the taxi knows exactly where she needs to go. I would have loved to see the interaction of the struggle for her to get where she is supposed to go. Also, everyone speaks English, which is probably correct. English has become a second language in most European countries. I know this because most of my cousins in Portugal and throughout the world can speak and understand English. However, I do like that Emily made a friend with someone who is a nanny and speaks multiple languages. The nanny is fluent in French, English and Mandarin. I will most likely continue to watch it, though. At this point, Emily has broken up with her American boyfriend and now she is a single lady in the city of lights. She is also a social media maven and I would love to be able to do that. I want to see what comes next and will definitely continue to watch it. Like I mentioned, it is cute and it’s getting better as the show progresses.
After watching a few episodes, my little one is up and ready for breakfast. Grandma is ready to get her waffles with nutella and a cup of milk. I am having my second cup of coffee for the day and having some home made bread. My husband is the one that is the scientist and chef. He mixes all of the ingredients together and places them in the breadmaker so we have fresh bread every morning.
Today is the day that I get to make all of the health care phone calls that I need. Making appointments for my husband, calling for health care credit cards and calling all of the other places that were closed on the weekends.
Unfortunately, it is raining today. I can’t get outside and do yard work. This is normal for me. Whenever I take off from work it always rains. And when it rains, I have trouble breathing. With my having my lungs collapse right after daughter was born, I’m feeling overwhelmed with life. The fact that I’m having a tough time breathing always brings me back to a terrible time when I was in the hospital and couldn’t breath then. I hate still having this feeling years after it happened. But I’m guessing, it’s like breaking a bone. When it rains or the weather changes, you feel it. Like the muscle has a memory and it remembers the time it was once not whole.

It’s Tuesday and it’s doctor day. I’m going to the eye doctor and then to the rheumatoid doctor. The eye doctor takes forever. Checking out which new pair of glasses I want is what takes the longest. Everyone was wearing masks and at the office and there were partitions, but everyone was all over the place, a little scary during covid season. I got my eyes checked and need a higher script for my eyes. I’ve also gotten reflective eye protection for the laptop monitor. I hear it’s better for the eyes. As for the rheumatoid doctor. I was the only one in the office so it was easy not to be near anyone. The doctor checked my joints and I will need to go back for bloodwork. I’ve had a false positive for lupus and we need to check the blood to see if anything has changed. I’m hoping for no changes.
In the evening, we do homework with the little one. There is always a lot to do. And, now we are learning the common core math. It’s not difficult, but there sure is a lot of work to show. Kids can’t just guess or know the answer off the top of their head. They have to show the work and how they reached that conclusion.

It’s Wednesday and I have a whole lot of emails that I need to get to for work. I was gone for two days and the email list keeps on growing as the time ticks on. I started with about 200 emails. It’s 10AM and I’ve received about 15 more. I also have a product launch coming up on Friday and I need to get my behind moving on getting all of the content on the site. A little overwhelming with all of the work that I need to do. This always happens when days are taken off. But, I needed those days off. To recharge the old batteries and to see doctors. These doctors are difficult to see especially after office work hours. So back to work I go and I am concentrating on getting everything done. I have another day to get all of my launch items prepared so I finish with my day at 6PM. A little later than I wanted, but the work has to be done.

It’s Thursday and I continue to work on the product launch. I initially didn’t realize there was this much content to post. There are five full pages of content to attach plus an excel spreadsheet with brand new content. Including everything else that I need to post on the sites that I am responsible for. As well as troubleshoot problems. Looks like it’s going to be another late night for me tonight.
As for my little one, she has more meetings than me today. Her morning check in, her afternoon check-ins plus another conference call for her other teacher. This is on top of all the other work that needs to be done.
This afternoon, I need to do a presentation to the developers on a new bulk upload request for one of the sites I work on. I am seriously nervous. I’m afraid they will ask questions that I don’t have the answers to. Also, the boss is going to be on the call. I don’t want to look or sound dumb to the boss. Pray for me. I’ll let you know how it goes. Meanwhile, I am listening to some melodic music, trying to see if I can calm my spirits. Youtube calls it 1AM study secession. It has some hip hop sounds and some piano mixed in. It is soothing and simply background noise. As for the meeting with the boss and the developers, this one went ok, just ok. There were a bunch of pieces of the conversation that I was completely lost in. I had to ask a few times what things meant and what they were looking for me to ask of the business. And, at one point I got all sorts of confused and needed for the boss to repeat what was needed of me to do. After a while, I think I got it.
In the evening, we were studying with my little one on how to do common core math and writing sentences. She is learning how to add with the number line and understanding the structure of a sentence. Capital letters and punctuations. We are at this as a family until about 10PM. We’ve been doing homework with her until late at night almost every night and it’s getting to be exhausting, for all of us. Especially grandma as she is with her all day long, on meetings and teaching her as well as going over everything the teacher sends to do. There has got to be an easier way to get all of this work done. As for me, I get to bed and look at my instagram feed for about 15 minutes before I am ridden with sleep. I turn the phone off and to sleep I go. It’s terrible that I use the phone to lull me to sleep, the blue lighting usually keeps a person awake, but looking at my instagram feed makes me happy. I have mainly things that are uplifting, no drama whatsoever. If anyone on the feed gives me drama, anxiety or a feeling of sadness, I remove them from my feed right away. Good vibes only. I mainly have home items on the feed. Like decorations and century old homes. Before and after’s on homes. Mainly houses and rooms as well as positive messaging. It’s good for me to go to sleep with good thoughts.

It’s Friday and my bed is nice and warm and I do not feel like moving. The window is cracked open as it must have been warm last night. My husband is the one who usually opens up the window if he feels warm. Tonight must have been one of those nights. I don’t feel cold or anything like that, as I always sleep with a blanket. I like the feel of something a little heavy, like one of those gravity blankets. The weight of a blanket, even if it is light, always helps me to fall asleep. Even during the summer, I always have something to cover me. During those really hot days, I have the bed sheet over me when I am sleeping. A little something always helps me to keep on resting.
This morning we launched a new product the imageRUNNER ADVANCED DX 717iF. This product has so much content to post it’s not even funny. But I’ve gotten it all done yesterday.
Since I did so much work yesterday, today I am feeling procrastination. I’m watching a video by Marisa Peer, on How to stop procrastination. It’s a short video and it’s very inspiring. She tells her audience to tell yourself that you “love” to do whatever it is that you are procrastinating about. Another thing I learned about procrastination, according to Peer, is part of rejection. I can relate. I’m absolutely not a fan of rejection. As I’m sure a lot of people feel the same. I’m sure you’re also not a fan of rejection. It makes me feel dumb. I don’t like feeling dumb, it really bums me out.
This afternoon I am listening to a webinar called “Empowering Leadership: Managing Projects” at my company. We are listening to an interview of a person who is well rounded and knows a lot about the business world including managing projects. He says that at times, you may be thrown into a project management position. You’ll have to manage something and all of a sudden it’s a project and voila; project manager, you are. The guest was asked “What leadership qualities does one need for a project manager? ” The answer he gave is “influencing without power.” Boy, do I know about this one. When I was a lower level at my job, I wouldn’t get answers from people for a long time or at all. I would have to get my boss to send out the message again in order to get an answer. I at one point started to send more and more messages to the same person to get answers. Was I being annoying? Maybe. But after a while, they realized I was serious about the questions and they would eventually answer me back. I had to get a relationship with that person in order for them to get back to me. Also, I started becoming friendly with their boss. This got their attention. And for sure they started to get back to me in a more frequent matter. Hey, you need to do what you need to do. In the interview he also said that as a project manager, you can’t be a pushover. There is a delicate balance. A project manager should be nice as well as persuasive. And always explain to the subject mater experts and others involved in the project; how we’re invested on this together. Also, being firm and at times, pushing back, is also something that a project manager needs to do. It was an interesting conversation. In the end a question came up; what if you’re an expert in marketing and you’re tasked to do a project on rocket ships? The interviewee mentioned to be calm and to learn as much as possible and if necessary to get outside help, like vendors. This was something that I definitely needed to hear. I am currently in a position where I need to understand backend systems, which I do not, and will most likely need to have outside help in order to understand all of the work that I need to accomplish.
At the end of the work day one of the business analysts and I had a meeting regarding an item that was not working for one of my sites. And, thank the Lord, it wasn’t something that I did wrong. There is a break/fix that we will be working on with our developers.
I continue to try and figure out if there is a course for Business Analysts. I’ve reached out to one of my colleagues who is also in this rollercoaster ride of being a BA, as he was also given the opportunity of being a BA and seeing if he knows of any courses that we can take to learn more about this subject. So far nothing. If we could find something during the workweek, that would be fantastic. I’ve reached out to NYIT as they sent me an email today about graduate school. I sent a request back to them to provide information, if any, on being a BA. We will see what kind of information they come back with. Probably nothing as I’ve already checked out their curriculum and everything that they offer. No BA. I will keep on researching.

Until next time.
Stay safe

Mentoring – The best resume for internships

I’ve been wondering if the best resume for interships is a linear resume or a more creative one.
My mentee has a linear one and I am in the process of creating one of mine to show her how a non linear one looks like for her internship. I have posted a poll on linkedin in order to figure out if a linear or a more creative resume will get the eyeballs of the hiring manager or HR representative to look at these. So far it’s 50/50. 50% think the non linear or creative resume is better for an internship. As for my facebook poll, three people placed in their comments and all three would go with the non linear, more creative resume.
If you were to hire an intern which one would you choose. The linear resume or the non linear resume?

linear to the left, non linear to the right recommends a linear type of resume. However, recommends otherwise as they have a college resume that can be downloaded and created in a word document. also provides a linear example for internships.
Weigh in and let us know. What would you prefer to see.

Until next time.
Stay Safe.

Self care for the weekend

I’ve been dreading going to see the doctor; of any kind. Since I have a couple of days off, I am going to bite the bullet and make my appointments. I’m going to see the physician for a physical as I haven’t had one of those in a long time. Then going to the eye doctor. I need a new eyeglass prescription and different type of contacts. The contacts that I have make one of my eyes tear up and makes my vision blurry. I’ve been wearing eyeglasses for a long time and my vision keeps on getting worse and worst. Maybe it’s due to being online for so many hours during the day. I hear there is a blue type of lining a that can be placed on the eye wear that is good for the blue lighting from the computer. I’ll see if I can get that on my new eyewear. I’ve also called my rheumatoid doctor as I have previously been diagnosed with a false positive for lupus. I can’t even imagine having that? It would be terrifying. I need to keep on going to see the doctor for checkups to ensure I don’t have anything going on with my body. I’ve also made an appointment with my nurse practitioner, she is the one who helps me out with my mental health and ensures everything is working the way it’s supposed to. That one is also on the calendar.

Over the weekend, I am looking for little gift bags for Halloween for my little one. Since we won’t be going trick or treating through the neighborhood. Our tradition has been to go over to our cousin’s house and we trick or treat throughout their neighborhoods. We’ve been getting together for years. This year we are unfortunately going to pass due to covid. We will be trick or treating inside the house. So, my plan is to get gift bags and place candy and little toys inside them. My little one will then go trick or treating throughout the house and find the treats. I’ve mentioned this idea to her and she loves it. She said that instead of calling it “trick” or treating, we’ll call it toys or treating. It’s cute and we’re going to stick with it. We’re looking through amazon to find toys that she likes so we can place them in the gift bags. But, knowing my husband, he will most likely find large toys to give to her. Because, well, she does deserve them. She’s been very good considering not being around her friends and not being around anyone at all. We’ve been keeping us all intact without getting sick for months. We’re planning on continuing to do this for the months to come as well.

It’s Sunday I am doing some self care. I’ve decided to color my hair at home. I’ve gotten color and developer from my old stomping grounds, Sally Beauty, and went to town. I’ve decided to get a level 5 of the brown family. I’m seeing now that it may be too light, but we will see. It’s already purchased and on my head. This is the before. Check out me and my Halloween pjs.

Before my new color

Apparently level 5 is a way too light for me. Looks like I gave myself a reverse balayage. The top of my head is light and the bottom is dark.
My sincerest apologies to my hair colorist and stylist friend. I have done it and screwed it up. When this covid madness is over, I will go ahead and get it corrected. Until then, balayge it is.

New, lighter color.

Until next time.
Stay safe

Mentoring – the best cover letter

Researching for the best cover letter for my mentee.
Always find out who the hiring manager is. If going through the company’s HR department, find out the representative and address the letter to them. To “whom it may concern” is not so personal. Be personable.
Place your first and last name. Always place your last name. You have a name, use it to your advantage.
Place your email address. Please ensure it is a professional address. is for your junk email not professional.
If you have a linked in profile, add that too. This has further information about you and if the hiring manager is interested, they will surely look at your profile. Have a professional photo and be professional on everything you do on linkedin.
Some sites state to put your mailing address. As for me, I would skip that. Some people may see that you’re far away from the office and may not even look at your resume due to this fact. They may not know that you have an Aunt that lives nearby and you’ll live with said Aunt as you intern. I’ve put a poll out on linkedin to see what people have to say about placing your mailing address on your resume. Most people say yes to put the mailing address. Weigh in and vote on my poll.

While writing the introduction of the letter, write the position you are interested in. You most likely will be writing to different company’s. Ensure that your letter is personalized to the company you’re applying for. Stating that you’re looking to intern may not be good enough. Do some copy paste onto your letter and paste the position name on the letter.

Explain how you can be an asset to the company. Talk a little bit about yourself. Be mindful of being confident but not bragging. Showcase your education and any relevant experience. Express your excitement about working at the company and the type of excellent work that you can do to enhance the company and it’s future.

Call to action.
Always mention that you’re looking forward to speaking with the hiring manager or HR representative. If you’re willing, present on the letter that you’ll contact them in a couple of weeks to follow up. And please follow up. Mark it on your calendar, on your to do list, on your journal. Whatever you have to give you reminders. Always give a break between presenting your cover letter and resume of a few weeks as everyone is busy. Some people have two or more hats to wear at work. If contacting the manager or representative in less than two weeks after the letter is sent it may be too early and they may not have even seen your packet. Remember, sometimes too much is too much. Give it time. Don’t be anxietal like me and call them the next day. This will not get you anywhere. Trust me.

Sign off.
Thank the hiring manager or HR rep. for their consideration.
Use a professional sign off. For example, Sincerely, Regards, Best regards or something close to those three.

Things to keep in mind:
Keep it to one page. Writing a novel may turn some hiring managers off. One page of how awesome you are is good.
Always thank the person you are writing to for looking at your packet. Good manners are always welcomed.
If emailing your resume, always include your cover letter. I would recommend writing a quick note on the body of the email and attach the professional cover letter and resume to the email.

For further reading take a look at indeed career guide or for cover letter examples.

Good luck on your letter and much success.

Until next time.
Stay safe.

Working from home #29

The majority of my week was smooth sailing until the tragic news on the weekend.

It’s Monday and it’s a normal kind of Monday. Hate getting up from my comfy bed. But, need to get up to get my work done. Today, I feel like my vision is all sorts of blurry. Can’t see straight.
I get online and there is an issue on the site, where nothing is working, and it automatically gets my anxiety working overtime. I will have to work with a ton of people in order to get this fixed. And, here come the IM’s from multiple people at the same time! I feel like I’m going up on a rollercoaster ride. Take a deep breath, Isabel! The downward fall is coming. At this point, I’m thinking was it me? Did I do something to break the site? Sometimes it happens. But, phew, turns out, nope, it wasn’t me; not today! It has something to do with a dealer code…something, I have no idea, it’s all technical from here. All I know is whatever the developers did, fixed the issue and I can now relax as the site is back up and running. While waiting for my developers to look into the issues, I’m watching an interesting ted talk about getting what you want How Five Simple Words Can Get You What You Want by Janine Driver. It’s very interesting, I think. This speaker also wrote a book and I can’t wait to listen to it. I might learn a thing or two. The book is called “You Can’t Lie to Me.” I’ve download it into my app and will start listening to it soon.
This morning, I have a meeting scheduled with my boss and these also make me so anxietal. I’m always thinking that I am not doing enough and omg my boss is going to ask about something that I haven’t done, what am I going to say!? Turns out, I’m doing ok. My boss didn’t ask anything that I didn’t have an answer for. A fun thing happened while we were in that. As the meeting with the boss was going on, I was called and asked to be in yet another meeting. Well, this is a first for me. Being on two calls at the same time. While one of my coworkers was talking about her week to the boss, I was on another call fixing an issue. Once that call was done, I then got back to the phone call with the boss. Thank goodness, my co-worker was still talking about her weekly plan. I didn’t miss much. It was very bazar for me to be on two calls at the same time. My guess is; this is my life now! This second phone call was a good thing because when it was my turn to talk about what I was working on, I had a resolve to one of the problems we’ve been having. The issue is regarding a product that is to launch on Wednesday. It needs to be taken care of today so we can add content to the site for the day after tomorrow. And, holy moly it was fixed! Just like that, during a two minute phone call. That’s mainly what I talked about with the boss and my colleagues. Then there were a couple of other little things that I am following up. But that launch issue was a big one that needed resolution. Good thing I took that call.
As for the little one, she had a ton of conference calls. She loves them. She’s always so happy during these calls. She gets to see her friends and she loves to sing along to the songs with her classmates and her teacher as well as listening to the books the teachers read to them over conference calls in google classroom. I love that she likes school. I wish they’d have the teachers on for longer than half an hour per day. I thought that the remote kids would be online with the teacher more often. Unfortunately not, so grandma, thank God for grandma, helps her with her lessons.

It’s Tuesday and I am not feeling myself today. There is so much, I don’t wanna, this morning! I don’t wanna get up, don’t wanna do work, don’t wanna get dressed, don’t wanna make the bed. But I eventually get up and do all of the things. Considering my grumpy morning. Work has surprisingly gone smoothly today. At one point one of the sites was not working. But it was quickly resolved. There was also a microsite that wasn’t working properly, but we fixed it and it is now working to its potential. I wonder if the day will continue to go smoothly as I’d like it to. Turns out it did. Nothing to write home about today.

It’s Wednesday and it’s also been a smooth day. There were a little bit of hiccups here and there, but all is smooth so far at work.
As for my little one, she only had one meeting today. It was an actual longer one this time. The teacher actually taught some math during the morning conference call. Until today the meetings were only for a few minutes. Mainly a check in. There must have been parents who complained as much as we have at the way they are teaching the hybrid and remote students.
Work continued to be smooth. The item that was to launch today has been postponed. Currently I am working on product launches for next week. No one has sent me pressing messages or emails and I am as happy as a clam doing my work. It’s mentally draining doing all of this type of work but I’m content doing so.

It’s Thursday and I am tremendously tired. I again don’t want to get out of bed. I absolutely need some time off. I’ve requested some time off next week. A couple of days away from the monotony of work should help me to recharge my batteries.
This afternoon, I ventured out to the wild and went to the pharmacy to pick up my medication. My doctor told me in order to get my memory working, I should take some more milligrams of my concentration medication. I will try what she recommended and see if it works out. Let’s see how it goes. My other adventure is going to my daughter’s school and pick up her school packet for the week. Wow, there is so much stuff in there. I don’t know if my little one will do all of it. Or if grandma has enough patience to practice all of her math, reading and writing with her. Grandma does the majority of the teaching, daddy does the majority of the math. I step in when they are both ready to throw in the towel. There is a lot to do in first grade. Much more that what I remember. For first grade, I was in Portugal. I was there until my fourth year of elementary school. And, from what I remember, we did a lot learning in first grade. I remember doing a lot of writing and math. And like my little one, I really enjoyed math. More than reading and writing, that’s for sure. In first grade, I did not have many friends in the beginning as I had just moved to that location in Tojeira, Sintra near Lisbon, from my mom’s birthplace, Folhadosa, São Romão, near Cuimbra. We were far away from what I used to call home. We had a class of about 20 kids and we were from all walks of life. There were the poor kids that used to have to go work at their parent’s farm before and after school. And the well off kids that worked in their family farm on the weekends and sometimes after school too. My family and I used to work at the family farms as well. I’d go there too as a little kid and play with my friend who was the same age and also in my class. I remember, we’d also help by giving the adults seeds or the little plants for them to plant along the dirt. It was hard work for everyone. But it was a good time. At the end of the day, we’d celebrate by opening a huge watermelon and eating it all together, family style. In the end, families would always give us the leftover fruits and vegetables, whatever they couldn’t sell they’d give away to family and friends. They were always good to us. I miss them and those simpler times very much. Ahh, the good old days as they say.
Check out my first grade class. I’m still friends with a lot of the people in this picture. We mainly keep in touch through facebook. I’m glad we have social media. It keeps us close to those who are far far away.

First Grade Class

This afternoon, I spoke with my mentee and it was all about questions of what she wants to do, where she’d like to intern, what kind of job she’s looking for and many, many more questions. She provided me with her resume and I think it is spectacular. It has all of the information needed, not too much, not too little. Just the right amount. But I have a question. She placed her mailing address on the resume. I’m thinking, as a hiring manager, if I was one, this person lives way too far out to be thinking about interning at my company. With that, do you think my mentee should remove the mailing address from the resume or keep it on there? After all, if the hiring manager is really interested, they can always go to the linkedin profile and research for further information. I have a poll on linkedin about this subject. Take a look and vote if you wish. The poll will be there for about two weeks. I’m really interested on what people, especially hiring managers, have to say about this. My poll has been up for a few days and most people say, Yes, place the mailing address on the resume.

It’s Friday and I have a lot of work to do. I’ll be off for a couple of days next week, which means a lot of work to finish up for this week including the work needed for the days that I will be out. Is it really worth taking a day off? Since I have a lot to do to prep and I will have a lot to do when I come back?! The answer is: Yes, of course it is. I’ll get to sleep a little longer in the morning and maybe even go out for a walk if the weather permits.
Today I am updating my resume so I can help out my mentee. I’d like for her to see what a different resume may look like as opposed to a traditional linear resume. I’ve done some research and foud a resume layout that I really like. Then,I’ve taken my information from linkedin and placed it on my updated layout. If you were hiring, would you take a look at my resume? I’ve taken a cool looking resume from pinterest and made my own version of it on excel. My mentee would like to be in marketing, and I’m thinking that having the latest looking resume would be beneficial. I’ve learned that apparently there is a profile in Adobe that you can follow to make it look like the new one I’ve created. You may need to have to purchase it. I’ve gone the excel way and I think it looks ok. What do you think? Looking at the resume page, would you consider an interview for a marketing position? Is it creative enough? Or does it really matter if it’s creative or not?

I’ve been seeing that a lot of my friends have small businesses. Especially ones that are on my facebook feed and my instagram feed. If you have a small business, advertise it. I’m sure your fb and twitter friends will use your business and help out during this pandemic. Right now I am looking into the Roden + Fields skin care line that one of my friends is a consultant. If you’re interested, click on her link and have your questions ready as she is a fantastic consultant. She got back to me right away with my questions along with a recommendation. Has anyone used these products? If so, what did you think about them?
Another skin care line that I am looking at is arbonne. My cousin is a consultant and she is in love with these products. Their products are 100% vegan and cruelty free. They also have makeup and haircare products. If you’re interested, check out her page.
As for my little one, I’ve barely seen her today. I know she has a bunch of meetings today with her teachers. She has a ton of work to do and grandma is all over it. She is making sure my little angel is a smart one.
At the end of the day, I have a meeting at work and we talked about things that I have no idea about. I’m still learning how the systems work. The meeting has to do with internal users and how they can or cannot see things on our websites. I was learning a lot about how the backend systems work and how much I have to still learn. It’s now 6PM and I am still working on my launch for next week. As I work I am listening to the Elvis Duran replay channel. They keep me entertained and laughing as I am stuck here working hard. This one is not hard work, but it is time consuming. There are hundreds of pieces of content that I need to post on the site and they need to be done one by one. No bulk uploads for this gal.

In the evening we are still doing homework with my little one. Look at that, it looks like the teacher added more work to do at 9PM. Is this for today or for next week? We need to figure out a schedule with her teacher, this is silly. After homework, we get on the floor and play with her pokemon toys. She loves the game and the toys that we get for her to play with. She also loves the show. She watches it on netflix in the mornings before daddy goes to work or on the weekends before breakfast.

It’s Saturday morning and the house is quiet. The family went for a morning drive to the store and I decided to stay home this time around. Like many times. During this covid season, I’d rather stay home than to venture out into the wild. I like to touch things, especially clothing, I like to feel the fabrics. Is this silk or a fabric that will just scratch the skin?
This morning I’ve also learned that one of my aunts has passed away from covid. She is one of my father’s many sisters. She and her family lives in Portugal. Unfortunately, I don’t remember her much. I do recall our family visiting all of my father’s sisters and brothers. We’d do family vacations of visiting them. It was nice to visit them, unannounced by the way. We’d just show up. That’s how we did it back then. My father would always want to visit family any way he could. And they would always take us in and be very nice and friendly to all of us. I think that this particular Aunt’s granddaughter was the one that knew verses of the bible by heart at the age of 6 years old. We were all impressed by this. Anyway, rest in peace my beautiful Aunt Maria.
You all stay safe and 6 feet away from each other. Covid is real to me and I’d like to see everyone safe and sound.

Until next time.
Be safe.

Random thoughts for the weekend

Over the weekend I am decorating the house for Fall and putting in some Halloween touches.

I’m also listening to webinars about mentoring. I’d like to be the best Mentor to my Mentee. My Mentee is a sweet young woman who is studying at Stony Brook University. For that, I am listening to a webinar from National Mentoring Resource Center. Not gonna lie, the webinar is not exiting at all. It talks about keeping in touch with your mentor via text messaging, which I am not ready for. Once I get to know her better we may exchange phone numbers. But, for now, we’ll stick to email and linked in. Speaking of which, feel free to see my profile on linkedin. You will see that I have had jobs from all over the place, from retail management to radio to marketing and now to a BA. I’ve even worked at Nike in the outlets over in Riverhead, NY. I’ve worked at a bagel store, for many years, in Farmingville. At a deli. Yup, I used to cut meats and cheeses and make sandwiches for people. I’ve also worked as an administrative at a chiropractor’s office when I was in my teenage years. God, looking back, I was terrible at that job. I was not organized at all back then. I’ve learned to be organized and more professional as the years went by. Needless to say, it’s been a rollercoaster. But I always have fun in whatever job I do. Except for now. I’m not having fun at all. I’ve been having a bit of a hard time in my new position as a BA. It hasn’t been easy for me. There is a lot of communicating with a variety of different people with different types of personalities and a lot of different accents too. The ones that I’ve had the hardest time with are my friends from VietNam. I’m really having a hard time understanding their accent. I feel dumb, but I continuously need to ask for them to repeat themselves. Recently, I’ve bee liking the comfort of being behind the laptop and working on things my colleagues provide for me to post online. I’ve been doing this type of work for over 10 years and I’ve become very comfortable with it. I am now out of my comfort zone. Now I have to go back to my roots of my Broadcasting days and communicate to the masses.
Broadcasting was my dream job. I wanted to be in radio in the baddest of ways. I interned for a radio station. I then got hired to work for the promotion department. I even got to do board operations, which let me be in the studio and work the very large board with all of those juicy buttons to press. This type of work happens with an on air personality is at a location and they are tuning to you live from whatever car dealership or bar and they then tell you to come on down as the station will be there until whatever time giving out prizes. So, I’d be in the studio either recording their voice or actually doing it live. After they were done talking, I’d turn the computer back on and either play commercials or play the next song on the list. I wouldn’t pick out the songs, that was for dj’s back in the 70’s. Now there are music directors that pick out the songs way before the day starts. Same goes for commercials. They are picked out way in advance. There you go, I’ve just given out all of the secrets to a radio station. But there is always a show that does whatever they like. If a show does very well, they play a song here and there that is not part of the song list of the day. The Elvis Duran show usually plays a song in the early morning that is not part of the top 40 list. And they get away with it. I’m guessing that is their thing, to be a little bit of the rebel show. They also do a Seinfeld type of show where they talk about nothing and everything all in four hours. It’s a great show, check it out when you get the chance on ihearradio.

It’s Sunday and I am continuing to learn more about mentoring. I’m listening to a Ted talk about mentoring. “As a mentee you have to be the driver.” Mentors to take the lead on the relationship. Successful mentees go on to become successful mentors.

Mentoring part III – Doing My Research

I’ve been waiting on my mentee to set up meeting for us, but I have been reading up on how to be a good mentor and in a lot of articles that I have read, it stated for the mentor to take the initiative. So I have gone ahead and set up a meeting for us this week. During covid season we will need to meet via the internet. I am very ok with this as I am a homebody and love to stay home in my cozy and familiar bedroom/office. I’ve been reading and found the roles of a mentor.

Been listening to webinars on mentoring and they keep on saying to mentor via text messaging. I’m not sure I’m ready for that. We have just met. Should I already give my mentee my phone number? I probably should. This may develop a meaningful relationship. But first we must develop the relationship.

Listening to a webinar from And they state; there are three missions for a mentor to a mentee: I Am, I Could Be and I Will. Not gonna lie, this webinar is very boring. The information is very broad. I’d love to hear more about what questions to ask if the student is being interviewed for an internship or a job. This webinar also talks about financial aid, but the webinar is from 2016 so I’m not sure if it’s still applicable. But they keep on insisting to use text messaging for the mentees to be more comfortable with their mentors.

Some more research on how to interview for internships.
These are some best practices:
Always have a question or two for the interviewer.
Avoid one word answers.
No complaining.
Be careful of the fine line between confidence and bragging.
Always get the name of the person who interviewed you.
Be prepared to get the interviewer’s information. Take a notebook and pen with you.
Always send a thank you note to the interviewer(s).
Always treat everyone in the building with kindness. The administrator may always talk to the interviewer. Who knows, the interviewer may ask the security guard how they were treated by you. You never know. Always be professional and kind. A smile helps too.

If you were interviewing an individual for an internship, what would you ask?

Working from home week #28

Don’t even know why I’m still counting the weeks I’m home.
It looks like I won’t be going into the office for a long time from now. There is still no cure or vaccine or anything for Covid. We’ll be home for a long time from now.

For the weekend, it was all about working for the man. “Working on the weekend like usual.” I have this hidden talent that I can usually find songs that has the lyrics I need. Even thought this song is called “Life is Good” I can’t relate with the rest of the song only the beginning.
But I digress, I have a lot to catch up for the man and I am using the weekend to, well, catch up. I’m glad that my mother in law is with us and is keeping my little one entertained as she does during the week as I work. Daddy is also keeping her busy. There is a lot of school work that we missed during the week that she needs to do, like writing letters in cursive. At this point…I have a question…why cursive? They should learn how to type on a keyboard. In my opinion if the kids get used to typing a certain way or incorrectly, the may get stuck that way. Like how mom used to say, “you keep making that face, it’ll keep staying that way.” lol Personally, I learned how to type in high school, 9th grade I think. I didn’t really need a use a computer back then or to type papers as they were all hand written. Yes, I’m that old. Anyway, I learned how to type the right way, by using both hands on the keyboard. It took an entire semester to teach my hands and fingers to get accustomed to the alphabet. I notice some people still type with their pointer fingers and it takes them a long time to get their typing done. I’ll probably need to teach my little one how to use the keyboard soon.

It’s Monday and my little one has off from school, so it is nice and quiet as she sleeps like an angel. As for me, I’ve already received about 20 emails filled with requests to upload things or fix things. It’s not even 10AM yet and I already have enough work for the entire day. The days just keep getting longer and longer with more and more work. I am in a zone that I don’t know how the backend systems work and no one wants to teach me. I understand they are all busy, but come on, I’m new at this, I can’t learn if I’m not taught. I don’t know half this stuff. Anyway, I just keep going and asking questions and more question and probably being very annoying. But what else can I do? Being annoying and asking questions is the only way for me to learn at this point.
Another issue I’m having is my memory. Apparently, I had a conversation with one of the business people in a meeting on Friday and I can’t recall particular parts of the conversation. The colleague stated, “remember, we had this conversation last week?!” Girl, I can barely remember what I had for breakfast, let alone what we talked about last week. That was about three days ago. I can’t recall that detail. But, I’m in a new role now, so my response was, “yes, we did have that conversation. Sorry about that. It’s been a long day already, hahaha.” I feel like an idiot. I’ve called my doctor and asked for an appointment and made an appointment as I need some help with my memory. Do you have any recommendations for memory loss? Besides, “that’s too bad, Isabel, you’re just getting old” lol.
In the evening I went to pick up my husband from work. His truck broke down and he needed a ride home. I haven’t been out driving in a long time. So it was a new adventure on this Monday evening. As I am driving on the highway, I see a rolling tire on the road. I automatically got PTSD. Ahh a tire…no, not today!! Those of you who know me, know that a flying tire tire came at me a few years back. If you know the story, feel free to skip the rest of this paragraph. If not, keep on reading.
So, a few years back I was driving home from work, 6PM or so, on the Long Island Expressway when a car from the other side of the highway lost its tire. The other driver must have been driving at least 70 miles per hour when the tire came off his car bumped from one side of the highway to the other and landed on the hood of my car. It hit my hood and rolled to my windshield, crack it a bit and then flew off. All I know is that it was a high performance tire, those really thin ones that are all rim and little rubber, and it came from a blue sports car from across the highway. I was in such shock as I saw the tire coming at me that I had no idea what to do. However, there was something very strange that happened in my head, but something told me to take my foot off the gas and just let the car run on its own. If I would have been just a little bit further down the road, the tire would have cracked right through my windshield. If that would have happened, it would have cracked my skull. I have no idea how I got so lucky. I keep thinking that it was my guardian angel that told me to take my foot off the gas. I think my guardian angel is my Godmother. I don’t know why, but that’s who came to mind when all of this happened. Somehow I was able to pull over to the shoulder and I called 911. When the cop arrived, he was afraid to see who was behind the wheel. He told me he didn’t know how I was still alive considering what had just happened. The officer also asked where the tire had gone and I pointed to my left side. I told him that it bounced off my car like a basketball. Bounced on my hood and moved on. The next question was a cute one. He asked where the other car was. So I told him “sir, if you take a drive on the other side of the highway and find the blue BMW with the high performing tires on the side of the road with a missing tire, you’ll find your driver.” The front of my car was completely damaged. It went into a body shop and they fixed everything. At one point the mechanic told me that I needed new tires as the ones that I currently had on the car were starting to show the wiring. You know they are worn out once the wiring is exposed. So my husband, the funny guy, said. “Hey, you needed new tires and one comes at you from the sky. That’s got to be a sign.” Thanks husband…you jerk! LOL Love you boo!

It’s Tuesday and by 10AM I have enough work coming through that can last me for the rest of the week. I don’t know what to do with myself besides take it stride and start taking care of the emails as they come. Do the work from the latest one to the ones that were sent last. Oh wait, there are emergency ones that need to get done before the others. And, there are IM’s that need to get answered before I do anything else. AHHHH! Help me, Rhonda. That’s the song that comes to me as I’m working away and am in need of some help.
So much juggling. All the while, I’ve made an appointment with my doctor. I need to see if there is anything that can be done for my lack of memory. You see when I had my daughter I got very sick and was even in an induced coma. While I was down and out I had a lot of drugs pumped into me, also there may have been a lack of oxygen going to the brain at some point and it may have messed up my memory for good. Those of you who were there for me and my family, I thank you for your support. I know there were a lot of friends and family who visited. If you visited. I thank you. I probably don’t remember it, but I am grateful. My husband has, at one point or another, ran down the list of people who did visit. But for the life of me I can not remember who they are. My memory was really bad after I’ve left the hospital. As time went on, it got better. But now that I need it most for doing my new responsibilities at my job, I really need it. So to the doctor I go.
As for my little one, she has as many meetings today as I do. Luckily my mother in law is on that ball with all of her meetings. I wouldn’t be able to work and be with my little one if I didn’t have the help. I am blessed to have her here with us. Thank you grandma!!
Back to #wfh. I am having a hell of a time working today. I have been asked questions that I have no idea how to answer #flyingbytheseatofmypants today. I’ve been standing up from my chair and passing trying to figure out how to respond to half of these questions that I don’t know how to answer. I’m listening to some music to pump me up and then going back to listening to motivational speakers. And then back to music. Hopefully after all of this listening and pacing, I will figure out what kind of, pardon my french, but, bull shit answer I can give to get myself out of the deep end. Some of the questions I’m getting have something to do with my new job and I have no idea how to go on about them. I don’t think taking a course will help with this either. It’s about dealing with people and having them do things. And trying to get them to do them because they want to do then and not because I’m asking them to do them. It’s a form of an art. And by God, I am not built that way. At least not yet. I will need to train myself on this…somehow. I feel like its table tennis but with words. Anybody want to practice with me? I’m all frazzled today.

all frazzled today

As I am working, after hours or course, I am listening to, at times watching, Lewis Howes interviewing Katie Morton. She talks to Lewis about mental illness and depression. Morton says, there’s a time to wallow and then there is time to take the steps move forward. She says that thigs can take take a month or two to ruminate on really hard things that are very stressful. But then you must move on, even if it includes seeing a doctor. At the end of the interview Lewis, asks what is your “definition of greatness?” Morton states; “even if you fall down, you don’t stay down for long. You get up, dusk yourself off. No judgements. Move forward.” Love that! “Challenge yourself to be better tomorrow.”

It’s Wednesday and my husband needs a ride to work, at 5AM. We both get up early and I am so hungry I could eat everything in sight. I have a few slices of fresh made bread and add some coffee to that and then we are on our way. It’s pouring outside and I can’t see a thing. My windshield wipers are going but I still can’t see anything. Plus my windows are fogging up since its warm out and the AC is broken in the car. We have the windows open and the heat pumping onto the windows to un fog them. It’s a trick I learned with dear or dad, the mechanic. You don’t have AC, turn up the heat to unfog the windows. When I get home it is still early to get to work so I do a little bit of yoga on the living room floor. I can’t believe how unflexible I’ve become. All my muscles were being pushed to the max as I was flexing as far as I could.
As for work, it’s the same story. Lots of it. Worked until 5PM on the dot and then went for dinner. After dinner, we went pokemoning. I figured, I’d get the rest of my job done after we come back. Yeah, right! After we came back I was so tired from the day that I did not have any more energy to get any of my work done. I tried, but just couldn’t do it anymore. I was on social media for a little while to see if I could get some energy back, but no, too tired. So, to bed I went.

It’s Thursday and I got up and did my same routine as always. I keep telling myself that I should go running, but I am so stressed that I keep on sleeping more and more in the mornings. I’m just getting more lazy and stressing out over my job. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you. I think a lot of people are stressing out over their jobs and trying to keeping them. What I know for sure is my company can let me go for almost any reason. This stresses me out a lot. I’m sure a lot of people can do what I do. It’s not too complicated to launch products and post content on sites. It’s quite easy since there is a content management system. Don’t need to know too much html, just need to know how the systems work and you’re good to go. It’s a scary time for everyone. However, one of my friends from work got promoted to director. I am very happy for him. I sent him an email congratulating him on his promotion. Since the company is still promoting, maybe there is a chance the company is doing well, considering the circumstances of covid and most company’s not doing so great.

It’s Friday and I have talked to my doctor about my memory. She told me to keep on taking my concentration medication. We’ll change the dosage and see how that works. I hope this works as I am getting very sad and frustrated about not being able to remember conversations I’ve had with people.
Today, I had my one on one with my boss. I again am very nervous about these meetings. I don’t know why. But I get very nervous when I need to talk to her. She is really very nice and understanding, but I’ve had bad experiences in the past where the boss was nice but then when talking to her boss, she was not so nice about how I’m doing my work. Now I am always writing on my journal to “reflect on the good.” To always think that people have good intentions and not bad. As for me, I always have good intentions. I may not always express it that way, but I always want the best for others. I’d rather see someone succeed than to see them fail. If someone is having a bad day, I always want to cheer them up somehow. I know how it is to have a bad day. Most of my days are not so good and I know how it feels to feel like a piece of garbage. I don’t want others to feel that way.
This afternoon there was a conference meeting with one of the managers from the company. It was part of a series for learning and managing at the company. This manager, is such a pleasure to listen to. Very lively and seems like a great manager to her team. She is all about education and getting everyone on board for everything regarding the company’s campaigns. It was a great hour of my day. Such positive vibes. After that conference I continue my work in a good mood. Even though it is tough work, I had on a happy face. Plus it is #NationalSmileDay so, it is only natural to keep on smiling. At the end of the day however, I was working on a microsite page and the darn thing was not working. I needed to ask for a developers help last minute and I felt really bad for bothering the team on a Friday night. But it has to be done as this microsite needs to be up and running on Monday morning. It was working fine last week when I originally started working on it. It suddenly stopped working for me, of course today that I needed it completed. But the developer was very nice about everything and helped me out with my issue. Turns out it was something that I may have done incorrectly as it was not linking to the correct web address. But how am I supposed to know? I followed the instructions as they were given to me and the system screwed me over by placing it on the wrong path. But now I know where it’s supposed to be going and I’ve added it to my notes so I will no longer need the help of the developers. Apparently, getting their help is very expensive for the company and we should use them at limited times. So by 6PM the site was working fine in the backend. And then I checked the front end and it was broken. Thank goodness the developer was still online, as I sent him a quick instant message with an “ahh the site in production is broken.” He quickly got back to me and said he’d work on it. We looked at the the issues and couldn’t figure them out as everything looked fine. We will need for the site to reindex or refresh or whatever, in order for the site to come back to life. We refreshed and still nothing. We will need to take a look on Monday morning and check to see what the problem is. This problem with microsites that I’m having are never ending. Just another fine day at the office.

Until next week.
Stay safe.