It’s Monday and this week, my group is working from home. We are working on an A/B work week. My team and I are team A so we went into the office last week. This week, group B goes in. But upper management needs to go in every week. But only on Mondays and Wednesday. This morning I woke up at my trusty two in the morning and I am thirsty. I take a big gulp from my water bottle and then there is nothing left in the bottle, so I get up and go into the kitchen for some more. I can’t sleep so I look through some social media and then turn on my audiobook. It’s an hour later and I still can’t get to sleep. So I did what shouldn’t have done, but I take another sleeping pill. I eventually wake up at around seven so the pill didn’t do much for me. Looking at my calendar and see I don’t have many meetings today, so I think I’ll be going to the bank during my lunch hour and depositing the very small amount of check that we’ve received from the government for having a child. But hey every little bit counts, am I right?! This morning I don’t wake up early enough to get my behind on the treadmill, but I am feeling down today. I had a bit of a bad ending to my weekend yesterday that I don’t want to do anything. Anything at all. If you’re interested on my weekend ending feel free to read my “Back to work week #1.” Skip the beginning parts and go right to the last paragraph. You’ll see what I mean about having a sh*t ending to my weekend. This week I have a lot of bills to get paid from the cable to the credit cards to the car. There’s lots and lots to take care of at home. I’m waiting on my paycheck to come in at the end of this week so I can make all of these payments. Way before work starts I look up the dry cleaner hours and notice that they open at eight in the morning. I head out there before work and pick up all of the dry cleaning items. I then race to the bank to make my deposit and raced back as it was a bit after nine. When I got in, I noticed there is a message from the boss to ensure that we received an invite for one of tomorrow mornings. Good thing I raced there and back so I could answer the boss. During the day I am very busy. I’m glad about being busy. That means that I am needed as opposed to last week where I wasn’t doing much and getting all sorts of worried that I didn’t have much to do. I have been at this new job for about three weeks and didn’t have any projects to work on and was feeling like they no longer needed my help. It was a terrible feeling. Now I have a bit of a target, but need to learn what to do, I feel like I’m not learning fast enough. I’m always scared when I start something new. I tend to be a bit slow to the trigger and some people think that I’m dumb. Or maybe it’s just me. My therapist says it’s me who thinks I’m dumb. But I’ve gone through this before and have had people not like the type of work that I do and complained to my boss as such. Today I’m not feeling my best and am feeling very low. So of course I am down on myself and think that I am a complete dummy. I’m acting like one too. Instead of thinking about what I’m doing, to myself, I am sending out messages to my coworker as I’m going through the thinking process. I should not do that. Think Isabel, think before sending! All the wile I look down and take a look at my pretty dress. This is what consoles me today. My dress consists of palm trees and these are my favorite type of trees.
As you may be able to see, I am not the happiest camper on the block. You can see it right on my face when I’m not having such a good day. I really dislike that about me. Can’t even face a smile. If I’m in a mood, you’ll notice right away. So I was in a meeting this afternoon and I was driving solo and I had no idea how to answer some of the questions the people were asking. I feel like I haven’t been taught anything. Anything at all. The dealer asked for a turnaround time for something and I have no inkling of what the turnaround time is. Now who the f*ck do I ask? My coworker of the team who actually does the work? F*ck me. How am I supposed to know any of this if I’ve never done any of this. So I contact my coworker she walked me through what I need to do. I’ve also asked the team who will be doing the actual work if they can help me out. Everyone is very friendly, for now, in trying to help me out, I’m just feeling a little lost and at times am not sure what to do nor how to do it. I’m a bit of a scaredy cat like that. I need to keep a cool head and go for it. Ask the damn questions and not be so scared to ask for help. I’ll have to work smarter and not harder. In the evening we have dinner and then sit on the couch and are taking hours to pick out a new backpack for our little one. There are many to choose from and the decent ones are expensive. It’s about one hundred for a backpack for a second grader. It’s insane how everything costs nowadays. We were deciding that this one needs to last for a few years and that is why we are willing to shell out a bit more for a better quality backpack. One that can hold all of her books as well as maybe even a laptop. From our understanding the books are heavy and she may need to carry them around with her for the entire day. It’s a lot of weight for a seven year old. At least I think so, I don’t remember having to carry so many books to school at that age. But then again I was in Portugal and from what I can remember, we’d leave our books in the classroom and not bring them home every night. That’s how it was in fourth grade when I moved to the states. Everyone had their own desk with a pocket underneath it and that is where I’d have our books, notebooks and writing utensils. It’s the end of the day and we still haven’t decided on which backpack to pick. After a while, I was getting a little annoyed with this and said, it’s just a backpack, please pick one and add to cart. We can always see if it’s a good one for her, otherwise it can always be returned. Still no cigar. Shortly after it was bed time. I got ready with my skin and teeth regiment and said goodnight to everyone. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.
It’s Tuesday and it’s two in the morning. Of course, I’m always waking up at two. I am a bit thirsty but I don’t think that is why I keep on waking up at this hour. I also use the bathroom but I don’t necessarily need to go. I could hold it for another few hours or so. However, this morning I woke up with very itchy legs. Last night I took out the garbage at dusk and all of the bugs were out and I think I may have gotten bit by a few on my legs. I am scratching them and them I rub a thick kind of lotion on them so the itching may stop or at least slow down. I then head to the kitchen and have some peanut butter M&Ms and some mango juice. Hopefully, I will get sleepy again and get some more shut eye at least until four or five in the morning so I can get on the treadmill and do some upper body exercises. Need to define my arms and get rid of this flabby belly. I’ve been working on these for a while now and haven’s seen much results. I only work on these for a few minutes, not for too long. From now on, I will dedicate more time for them. Meanwhile, this is what I look like at two in the morning when everyone is asleep and I am snacking away in the kitchen. I am fully awake, but my hair doesn’t look a mess like it usually does when I wake up in the middle of the night.
It’s now three in the morning and I’m still not sleepy. I am planning on putting on my audiobook and maybe that will put me to sleep. I’ll let you know how that works out…So the audiobook did put me to sleep but it did take a while. Eventually, I rolled out of bed at eight and worked out for a little bit in the bedroom, so I did some sit ups and push ups, nothing too crazy. And only for a few minutes. It’s when I’m on the treadmill that I’m on for the full hour. I then take my shower, get dressed and then log on to work. I have a scrum meeting this morning and I most likely will be on camera so I feel like i have to fix my hair and look presentable. I do something a little different this time. I put on product and scrunched it to make it a bit wavy. Back before my daughter was born my hair was curly and when I scrunched it, it would be really curly. Now I have a bit of a wave. Plus frizz around the crown of my head. The hairs around my head break very easily and I have little hairs around my face and they get very frizzy. If I put frizz product on it, it makes my hair look greasy. If I don’t it’s a bit of a frow. Can’t win.
For lunch I head outside and clean the mailbox. After the town fixed the road the mailbox became really dirty and filled with tar dust. I take out a bucket with soap and an old sponge and clean up the mailbox. Don’t know why but it was bothering me that it was so dirty and I just had to clean it. Even my mother in law was surprised that I wanted to clean it up. Sometimes I am weird like that. After work we had dinner and then my husband asked if I could take care of his hands. He literally put up his hand and asked if I could do something about it. His hands are all sorts of rough as he works in road construction. I had no idea what he wanted me to do. Remove the calluses? There’s no way I’d be doing that, because I’d have to use a blade and I would absolutely cut his hands off. So it turns out he basically wants a manicure. He wants me to push his cuticles back and cut the extra skin out. So I get out all of my tools plus some baby oil to put on his fingers and hands and got to work. As I’m finishing up his hands, he asks if I could also do the same to his feet. I was like, what is this, a la cart service? So of course I also give him a pedicure. With the pedicure, I took my time. I’ve given him a pedicure before and was rushing then I cut his skin and made him bleed. This time, I was very careful and nice and slow. Plus, I was afraid of what he was going to ask for next lol… Nope, we don’t have that kind of service here!! After we were finished playing nail salon I grab my camera and take photos of my little one and the dog playing around. I have a new photo frame and would like to place my two children on it. The majority of the photos came out all blurry and are ready to be deleted. I’ll have to try again some other day.
The family gets ready to go out and they don’t even bother to wait for me as they know I’m not interested in leaving the house. That’s right, me, the person who used to love to go on car rides even if it was just down the street to test the breaks. At my old age I now don’t even. I stay home with me and my thoughts. Also, I have to vacuum the living room floor. After playing nail salon, the floor is filthy with nail dust and I need to clean it up. A few hours later, they come back and I am still up since I am not tired today. Before I go to bed however, I give my husband a nice foot massage. He doesn’t like lotion on his skin, but he is ok if if’s when he is in bed. So I become a nice wife and give him a nice foot rub and really dig in onto his heals. He is thankful for the technique that I use. After, I give myself a foot massage with the same foot lotion, turned on my audiobook and lay down. I am listening to Cleaning up Your Mental Mess by Caroline Leaf. I don’t really hear anything as I fall asleep to her talking to me.
It’s now Wednesday and it’s one in the morning. I can no longer sleep. I wake up and use the bathroom then lay back down and toss and turn. I look through my twitter feed and continue to be awake. I then turn off the phone and turn over in bed. Then my belly starts to rumble. Really belly, we’re not going to sleep because we’re hungry?! I think of what I can snack on and decide that I will have a slice of pie. The strawberry rhubarb flavored pie. It was in the fridge and I am not in the mood to eat it cold. I was thinking of adding it to the toaster oven. Then I though better and placed it in the microwave for twenty seconds. I thought that it was going to taste a little rubbery, but nope, it was just right. Nice and warm, not too hot, not too cold. Perfect for my midnight snack.
The audiobook is still playing but I’m still not listening. I am too distracted trying to figure out what to do to make sure I am able to fall back asleep. I don’t know what the matter is. Do I have too much energy or don’t I do enough physical work during the day and therefore my body is not tired. Today I will need to take some sort of medicine to help me fall asleep. Don’t think I’ll be able to stay in bed without it. I’m simply hoping that my midnight snack won’t come to bite me in the butt by making me feel nauseous. That’s the last thing I want. I hate that feeling. Usually, I won’t be able to lay down nor rest due to the pain and feeling like I need to run to the bathroom and as my friend used to say, pray to the porcelain gods. Sorry if that is rude. I however, visualized someone kneeling down in front of the toilet and doing prayer movements. When I heard this, I started to laugh out loud. I was a bit embarrassed that such a picture made me laugh, but my dark sense of humor took the best of me. I have these annoying bumps on my tongue today and I also bit my check on the same side where I have these bumps. This morning as I’m having trouble sleeping, these are bothering me big time. It doesn’t hurt, at all, they are simply annoying. OK, putting my hair up in a high bun and am going to attempt to fall back to sleep. A few hour later and I’m still awake. Laying down with the earbuds in my ears but still awake. I do eventually get a little bit of a deep sleep because I remember not hearing the audiobook for a while. It’s now five in the morning and I can’t lay there anymore. I’m waiting for my phone to charge and I’ll be going to the treadmill in a few. Well there is something wrong with me because my tummy is rumbling again and I need to eat something before I get on the mill. Otherwise, I’m afraid I may pass out and no one will find me until tomorrow when my husband needs to pick up his clothes from the basement. I can’t have more pie right now because that is all just sugar. I don’t want to have breakfast because that will be too much in my belly and I’m afraid I may throw up. I know, I’ll have a spoonful of peanut butter. That should be good. It has some protein, some sugar and some crunch. I bought the crunch type this time and I enjoy the crunchiness. Before work started I head out to the pharmacy to pick up scripts and they tell me that one of the scripts has expired. I’ll have to call and get them re-sent. What a pain in the behind the pharmacy requests have been. Called the nurse practitioner and called and called and called. No answer. Wound up texting her, but she hasn’t gotten back to me yet. At work I am a bit lost in the weeds. There is talk about budget and I’ve never done budget before so I am lost when the team talks numbers. But, it’s only numbers after all, can it be that hard? I will see in a few months what needs to be done. For my lunch hour, I opt to continued to read through work emails. I had a bit to eat and then got back to working. I was thinking about going out to the store but then changed my mind because there is a lot to work on and I feel like I’m getting behind a bit. My coworker is a very busy person and I have to keep on bothering her to show me how to do, well, everything. I feel a lot of anxiety about that. It’s as if I don’t know how to do anything. Is that how it is with a new job? I’ve been doing internet marketing for so long I don’t even know what it’s like to be a newby. Today it is a bit cooler outside and I am feeling the chill. I put on an old, I mean vintage, jean jacket that I’ve had since I was in my 20’s. It’s a bit tight around my back, but it still fits…sort of. I can’t button it for the life of me, but it still looks cool. At least, I feel kinda cool wearing it. Makes me feel like all of my hard work of walking on the treadmill is playing off. In the evening I am on LinkedIn and make a bunch of connections with new coworkers. I then get together with the family after they come back from their excursion in the outdoors. I ask my husband if it’s time for me to color my hair again. I’m have a few streaks of gray and I was asking him if it was noticeable or if I could wait for another week before coloring it again. He said no, it’s not that noticeable and that I could wing it for another week at the office. We then play with the dog and then shortly after we go to bed.
It’s Thursday and I wake at a reasonable hour. I woke up at seven in the morning. No waking up in the middle of the night this morning. Thank goodness, I was starting to get worried about always waking up at two in the morning and not sleeping through the night properly. Not only for my healthy but also for the skin around my eyes. They do say to get your ‘beauty sleep’ for a reason. If you don’t get enough sleep your skin looks like a hot pail of garbage. At least I do. I don’t get much on the puffiness, I get the skin under my eyes to sink in. Anyway, it doesn’t look very attractive. For breakfast I have a couple of English muffins and of course, my coffee. I’ve had to drink my coffee hot as opposed to iced like I’ve been wanting. The ice machine we have doesn’t produce enough ice for all of us. So I leave the ice for my husband to take to work. I feel it’s more important that he has the ice. He is, after all, outside in the heat all day long. I think he deserves it more than I do. It’s fine, I’ll have it hot, I’ll simply add a bit more milk and wait until it cools down a bit. I then log on and get working. For lunch, I take a quick break and then get back to my work, there is much to do and much to learn, so I jump on in and get to it. Today there are many meeting about budgeting and email creation and product briefings. A lot of meetings. I am meeting and camera ready. I got myself dressed up today in a dress. No makeup, just a nice outfit. After work I head over the the pharmacy, again! They gave me the wrong script the last time I was there and I called to see if I could exchange it for the correct one. They usually don’t take scripts back but they did it this one time as a courtesy. I then head over the store as I need to purchase body wash. The store did not have what I am looking for I get a couple of things anyway. I found a pair of sandals that are a light brown color, really pretty, really cheap. I also found a recorder for my little one and some tea as well as a face mask. When I get home I cleaned everything I purchased and put everything away. I will give the recorder to the little one as a gift when it gets closer to school time. She will probably need it for her music class. As for the sandals, I put them on in the house right away and throw away an old pair of flip flops that have been sitting under the bed for a few years. Out with the old, in with the new.
It’s Friday and I again woke up at three in the morning. Coughing this time. I needed some water for my dry throat. I was then able to roll over and get back to sleep. I woke up at around seven thirty and started my day. This morning I am having an apple turnover for breakfast. These are in the fridge so I pop it in the oven for a few minutes to warm it up. And of course, coffee. This morning I have a bit of a headache. I will let it linger for a little while without taking any medicine. Hopefully it will go away after I have something to eat. Low and behold, there goes the headache. All my little brain needed was some food and caffeine. For lunch, I take my shower and fix my hair properly. The last couple of days I tried to bring my curls back with texturizing balm and all it did was give me a beach wave, at best, and made my hair a bit greasy. Today, I will bring it back to whatever it is that it would like to do. I used to have curls but after my daughter was born the texture of it changed. A lot changed after my little one was born. It’s funny how a woman’s body changes after giving birth to a little one. As for the rest of the workday there are a lot, a lot of little things that need to be done per project. So many that I’m getting a bit lost. Taking lots of notes and trying to keep myself well within my title and not mess things up. In the evening I head out to the outlets to pick up my necklace. I had to get it fixed as it needed to be soldered since it broke. It cost almost as much to fix it that it was to purchase it. Isn’t that always the case to get things fixed by others. I then head over to walmart and pick up the body wash that my husband likes to use. I then head on home as it is already nine in the evening and it’s almost my bedtime. I go to bed early like an old person. I try as my might to get my beauty sleep. This week has been a hit or miss on sleeping. But tonight I’ll be going to bed on time.
It’s Saturday morning and I am a happy camper. I had a wonderful dream that we were at a festival taking pictures and listening to music. We were by a lake and enjoying ourselves like the good old days before covid. I also slept until nine in the morning which is very different for me. I’m used to getting up at seven. But I did wake up at three in the morning this morning and went to the kitchen and had myself a midnight snack of peanut butter and nutella. I then got back to bed and had that great dream. For breakfast I have a warm apple turnover. I can’t get enough of them. I simply love the gooey center with the bit of the crunch from the apples. Today, we are thinking about going to the store and purchasing supplies for school for my little one. I want to go with the family today. I haven’t hung out with them for a long time and it’s about time I do. Today we go to the outlets to get sneakers for the little one. We also get her a few clothing items that are on sale. We then go to the craft store and purchase a bunch of supplies for school. All the while we were playing pokemonGo. The day wasn’t as hot today so it was nice and cool in the car as well as outside.
In the evening we go to our favorite local Japanese restaurant and bring home sushi and Chinese food. After diner, they went out again, but I opted to stay home. It’s late and I want to stay in and rest. We’ve been out all day and I’d like to put my feet up. Tomorrow is another day to get things done.
It’s now Sunday and I am up at eight in the morning. I wake up with a bark or the dog. It’s a gloomy day out and it’s been raining, the sun isn’t shining in the room either. Today, I’m not sure what I’ll be doing. Don’t know if I should go some studying for work or if I should hang out with the family. For work, I need to have my topics of work taken care of. These need to be done before Wednesday. I’ve already read them through quickly, but I need to really sit down and read them through properly so that I may have questions and comments back for the boss. Don’t want to just agree to the wok topics and not have any comments. That’s not a good thing. I’ve learned that a military style of being and simply agreeing to what is given to you is not the way business works. Most bosses don’t like that and it makes them uncomfortable. I’m used to ‘yes sir/ma’am.’ The other thing I need to do is go to the big box store and make a few purchases for the house. I could go today or go after work during the week. Whenever I think there will be less people at the store. This morning my husband and I put all of our little ones things together for school and labeled everything for her. By midmorning I am outside cutting branches and picking weeds from the flower beds. Then I did some cleaning up of the backyard. At that point my husband informs me that the family would like to go out and play pokemonGo. I decline and continue with my chores. They leave as I am finishing up with my day. I then head on inside and take a nice long bath. I put on a facemask and give myself a much needed manicure and pedicure. As my hair is drying I color my nails with an orangy red color called hazard. By five my tummy is rumbling and I get myself a slice of apple pie from the fridge. I heat it up in the microwave and eat the thing in a few bites, it is so tasty. I then head outside with margarita in hand and hang out in the backyard for a little while. I saw a few deer all the way out in the back of the woods. But, I shortly get bored and come back inside.
Until next time.
Stay Safe!
Best,
Isabel
Isabel's world 