It’s Monday and I wake up all sweaty and sticky. It’s humid and I am feeling all that humidity. Don’t want to get out of bed today so I snooze the alarm a few times. I then eventually get up and get to the treadmill. Before the treadmill, I check to see if the machine in the basement is working properly as we had a flood last night. The sump pump machine broke and we had water all over the place. My husband fixed it and I did the clean up. It was a team effort. So this morning, I’m checking and everything looks to be in tip top shape. Thank you husband for a job well done. I get on the treadmill and walk my three miles than I into the kitchen and start up my coffee pot. As the coffee and toast are making I go ahead and take my quick shower. I then get to work in my bedroom/office and I am in shorts and a tank top. I’m working and working then pause and take a quick break and go outside. Outside is kind of chilly. I should have opened the windows instead of having the air conditioning on. Anyway, I get back inside and make my phone calls for my parents for meals, visiting nursing, repairs and a few other calls. For my lunch hour I get out to one of the local churches by my parents house and fill out an application for them to receive weekly meals. We’re not always available to cook for them. So this is a sure way for them to get meals delivered to them on a weekly basis. The nice man from the Knights of Columbus also called and mentioned someone is to go to my parents’ house today to start working on cutting some of the low hanging branches from the trees in the front yard. I am so grateful right now I don’t even know what to say or do. Besides saying thank you God for these blessings!
It’s Tuesday and holly headache. I snoozed the alarm and kept on trying to sleep. My head is aching hard and I get up out of bed just to take medicine. I didn’t walk today but slept for a couple of hours longer. After a little while, I get to my bedroom/office and get to work. I do a lot of standard operating procedure documentations and at noon I break. I go to my parent’s house and bring them food for the week. I then hurry up and get to the big box store and make my purchases for the week. When I get home I clean out all of the items from the store and my mother in law puts, practically, everything away for us. All I do is take some of the items down to the basement to store them away. I then change my clothes and get back to work. Work is a little easier today, not much going on so I continue to create my documentations. In the evening we have dinner and then put on a movie. Wonder Woman I think it was. Wasn’t really paying attention to it. Shortly after it was nine thirty, way past my bedtime. I bid everyone goodnight and got to bed.
It’s Wednesday and it’s a good morning. I wake up feeling fine, put on my sweats and get to the treadmill. I walk for three miles and then look at my tracker and it’s not working properly so I restart my phone. It’s still not working. Son of a gun, I like to see how many steps I’ve been taking. Oh well, hopefully it’ll fix itself. I then get to my breakfast of an english muffin with butter and jam and of course, coffee. I then take a quick shower quickly get to work. Work was nice and smooth. Lots to do but nothing outrageous. In the evening I go to my first therapy session. She gets me talking about my childhood. It isn’t good. And then about the time that I was molested by a family member and by someone who was very well known to the community. I had quite the shitty childhood. Then the fact that none was there for me is the saddest part as my therapist put it. Another thing is that I haven’t had closure with these and it continuously ruminates in my mind. Thinking about these things makes me very uncomfortable and it made me cry in my session. I’ll never get an apology and I am sure it will be denied, because he’s a sneaky a$$whole. We talked about other things and how I feel about myself and overall, and it isn’t good. I will be seeing her again sooner than later to work out these issues. I get home and the family has gone out hunting for Pokémon. I get o have a quiet dinner and watch a bit of Hamilton on Disney+ and have myself a glass of wine. I’m loving the play, it is so good so far. I still have about an hour to go. It’s too bad I can’t see it live. Maybe someday. We used to go into the city every so often to watch shows. I really enjoy them and so does my husband. We’d have dinner in the city, walk around a bit and then see the show. Sometimes after the show, we’d go to a nearby bar and have ourselves a celebratory drink. Hopefully after covid, we’ll get back to doing that again.
Tonight, I can’t fall asleep. I keep thinking about what my therapist and I talked about. All of these heinous images come to mind and I can’t seem to get any rest. I eventually fall asleep but wake up very easily with sounds of the air conditioner or the racoons outside. Tomorrow is not going to be such a great day.
It’s Thursday and I am tired this morning. I had trouble sleeping and am felling very tired. I didn’t get to my treadmill this morning as I wanted to sleep in a bit more. I got up at seven thirty and made my way to the kitchen to take care of breakfast. I’m not very hungry this morning so I’m only up for coffee. I’ll eat something later. I then get to work by eight. I have a few items to take care of and start my day early. I take care of the items and then rest a bit as I have a phone interview this afternoon. The pay isn’t fantastic but it is a bit more than what I am currently making. So I will talk to their HR department and see what they have to offer. Meanwhile, I am making phone calls with lawyers for my parents to see what can be done to protect their assets and sign up for Medicaid. Especially for my mom. She is need of help at this point and we need someone to go to the house and help her out. She is in a fragile state and it would be best if someone went there every day to help her with her daily tasks. She can get herself dressed and bathed and things like that, but she doesn’t want to take her medicine and is very depressed with life overall. She has dementia and may have Alzheimer’s as well. We need to see a neurologist to find out. Same for dad, he may have Alzheimer’s as well. They both need to see a neurologist. I am working on setting up appointments and getting them seen. However, I need to work with siblings in order to get these doctors paid. This has become a bit of a pain as I have to ask Paul to ask Mary to ask Peter to get something done. It’s a process. As for my interview, it was a quick and painless process. I think it went well and hopefully they will call back for a second interview. By three in the afternoon, I hit the wall. I am tired and in the need of a nap. I instead get myself some team and cookies to finish off my work day. My evening is a normal one. Dinner and play with the dog, watch something on tv and then, bed.
It’s Friday and I am not feeling it. I’m a little down and don’t have the energy to get to the treadmill. So I linger in bed for a while after the alarm. I eventually get out of bed and make my morning coffee. Then get to work earlier than nine. I have been working on documenting on how to do my job for the next person and this morning, I continue to do just that. I decide that this morning I will talk to my HR department person to see how she is doing and to get some advise on current happenings at work. It’s a nice conversation that we have and now I’ve learned that my bosses are all rooting for me and my success. This makes me happy but not fully content. I’m not looking to work for free over here. I’d like to have a better paycheck. That is my ultimate goal. During my lunch hour I go out to the local market and get ourselves vegetables for dinner, as well as some doughnuts. Couldn’t help myself. Then I pass by our local pharmacy and pick up my medicine for the week. I then head on home, clean up all of the groceries and get on back to work. Work is nice and easy this afternoon. We have a couple of meetings and then I am working on a product launch for two weeks from now. It’s only one product and I am updating the how to documents on launching products on one of the many websites I work on. When my husband comes home, I help him to put away all of his stuff. Cooler and clothes and other things. Then I get to be the lucky one to check him for ticks. He is currently working in a location that is close to the woods or actually, it’s within the woods. Anyway, he’s been coming home with pets and we gotta get rid of them. Thankfully, all is clear. No passengers today. No free rides for these little guys. He then goes and takes his shower and I get back to work. But I am spent. There is fifteen minutes left of work and I am ready for quitting time. But I progress and continue to work on my product launch and my documenting. After the five o’clock bell. I get out of my bedroom/office like a rocket. I am done and ready for the weekend. We all get together and get ready to go out. We need to take the dog to the vet and then we’re going out to get something to eat. The poor dog received a couple of shots for Lyme disease and some other parasite and then we drove around hunting for Pokémon until we decided what we were going to have for dinner. We eventually decided that we haven’t had Taco Bell in a long time. So that is the direction we went with. The line was really long and we waited and waited. We eventually got our food and then drove around to find a spot to eat as the parking lot was full. As we were driving around we were also eating, might as well get it while it is hot. We then drove around some more and that was that for our Friday evening. We got home pretty late and as always, I am ready for bed while the family stays up for a while longer. I bid everyone good night and head on over to bed as tomorrow is going to be another work filled day. I’ll be heading over to my parent’s house and doing some physical labor there. Plus the doctor is coming over to see them and give us his feedback on how my parents are doing and what our next steps should be for them.
It’s Saturday and I wake up way before the roosters. Don’t know if it was a bad dream or if I just needed to head on over to the bathroom but man oh man, I got up at six in the morning and started my day. I made myself coffee and toast and am thinking about all the things I will need to do today over at my parents house. Things like cleaning, laundry, paperwork. Print outs that I have to do at home. Meanwhile, I’m looking outside and it is raining out there. Bummer, I wanted to get some things done outside as well, but not today. So I head on over to my parents house and start cleaning. I start with doing the pile of dishes that are in and around the sink. Then start with the laundry. And there is a lot to get clean. There are clothes, towels and eventually I drag mom out of bed so I can get the sheets washed as well. As the clothes are washing I am spraying down the bathrooms and letting the bleach soak into the dirty crevices. My brother is visiting and he asks if the washing machine is still working. I say yes otherwise I would have complained already. He said that he fixed the machine last time he visited. Wish he would have said something at that point in time. This way we’d know the machine is potentially broken. And maybe shopping for a new one. Silence tends to be his forte and sometimes that doesn’t work out so well for him. He’s also taken care of removing the leaves from the basement steps. I didn’t even realize there were so many over there. He says it’s a fire hazard. And I bet it is. Didn’t even think of going around the house and ensuring the steps were clean. I am more focused on the inside of the house and the cleanliness for my elderly parents. After a few hours my parent’s doctor came to visit and my other brother came to the house as well. He is more in tune with my parents’ heath as he has taken over giving them their medicine and taking them to the hospital. Mom was in the hospital a few weeks ago and he was the one who took her and took care of everything there. So when the doctor asked about her latest visit to the hospital, he answered the questions. After the doctor left the three of us talked a bit about the future of my parent. How can we afford to have them stay at home but have someone go to the home to help ensure they take their medicine, make sure they eat balanced meals. Help with cleaning and other items. I am currently in charge of taking them to see a few doctors. Setting up appointments and taking them to the offices. Mom needs to see a slew of doctors and a few are able to come to the home others, I will have to take her to them. We have divided tasks and will take care of mom’s health. As for dad, he needs to see a neurologist and that is about it for him, for now. We also talk about our beloved Portugal and the assets my parents own there. I will be talking to my friend to see if she knows the laws and if she can help us out with anything regarding said assets. Thank goodness for my friend. She is a good lady and has been one of my best friends. She’s really been there when I need her. I am truly blessed to have her in my life. We then go ahead and talk about more business. And by noon I am exhausted. I take some medicine and vitamins for energy so I can keep going. But it is short lived. Shortly after I have lunch of leftover chicken and cauliflower. It could have had a little sauce or something to make it better, but I didn’t bring it and they currently don’t have any at the house. So I settle for what I have. I then tried to clean the kitchen floor, but people kept on walking on it and it was no use. The old people are like children. They don’t listen and do whatever impulse thought they have at the moment. So, I became overwhelmed with that cleaning and didn’t do such a great job finishing it. The floor isn’t as sticky as it was before, but it’s still not the clean that I would like for it to be. After that disaster, I finished up the laundry, which had the bed sheets. The same, but clean, bed sheets were place on the bed and room was cleaned up a bit. There is still a lot of work to do, but that will have to be for next time. As for today, I am done. I don’t have any more energy and I need to get home. Next time I will be taking care of some of the outside items and throwing out as much garbage as I possibly can. Today, my oldest brother helped me to toss out a tube tv that has been in the kitchen for the last five years. This tv hasn’t been working for the last seven years or so. It was just there in the kitchen collecting dust. After the tv was placed out on the curb. Here comes my father asking where the tv went. So I took ownership and told him that it was me and my decision to get rid of a tv that hasn’t worked in many years. I wonder if the tv will gain legs overnight and come back. Most things that I toss out have a tendency of coming back inside. My parents grew up in an era where things were not easy to come by or they were so expensive, they were out of their reach. So they keep everything. If it wasn’t for us children tossing things out every once in a while, their house would be a hoarders house. Filled to the top with things. They even save all of the plastic take out food containers, meanwhile they have a set of nice glass pirex containers. I’ve tossed the plastic ones out in the past, and they grew legs and came right on back to the house. Same with old clothes, towels, shoes, you name it. They all come back. I have to sometimes take the old items to my house and toss them our in my own garbage pail in order to get rid of things. Or tell them that there are things that I would need or would be useful for my own home and then they are ok with betting rid of whatever broken object they hold so dear. It’s a process. Today I overstayed. I told my husband that I would be home by two in the afternoon. I wound up getting home at four. Taking and planning with multiple people took longer than expected and I got home late. By the time I got home, it was deserted. The family went with my husband to the doctors office and I did some self care. Took a nice long shower and then relaxed a bit before they came back home. Tonight we planned on eating tacos from a local restaurant. We love these tacos. My favorite taco of late is the portabella mushroom taco. It comes with the portabella cut into thick slices, it has a shaving of cheese and some delicious sauce. I really enjoy it. The other taco that I like is the shrimp BLT. The shrimp is a tiny bit spicy and it is delicious. We then always try their specialty tacos and they, for the most part, do not disappoint. Except for today. A few of the specialty items we ate were low in seasoning and did not taste as delicious as they usually do. Even the duck taco that we always love, is a bit on the dry side. Oh well, guess it can’t always be a home run. I had a glass of red wine with my meal and everyone else had ginger ale. I finished off the bottle and had shortly after changed my clothes and got ready for bed as it was late in the evening. Don’t worry the bottle only had one glass left of liquid. I didn’t drink a full bottle of wine tonight. My mother in law and I had so of the wine from that bottle the other day. Then shared it again a few days after that. Now there was only one glass of liquid for me to finish off. I cleaned the dishes, cleaned up a bit and then right to bed as it was already passed my bedtime. I like to wake up in the early hours of the morning and get some of my writing in as well as some quiet time for myself to collect my thoughts and figure out what I need to do for the upcoming day or week. I need to write everything down on my little journal book of tasks that I need to take care of. I also like crossing off things that I have done. For example, I need to use the weedwhacker in a few areas around the house. So, on my list I have things such as charge batteries for weedwhacker machine. As well as cut grass around back stoop, around trees in the front as well as cut grasses around the playground. By the end of the day, I can cross off a few things from my list and it gives me much needed satisfaction that I have accomplished something today or this week. Plus it’s reminders that I am being useful around here. Sometimes I feel like I am just part of the furniture and don’t contribute much. These lists make me confident that I do contribute. Yes, that’s the depression talking. It’s very loud at times and I need these little reminders to keep me in check.
It’s Sunday and I wake up way too early. It’s six in the morning and I am up before anyone else. I try to keep it quiet, but I am not very diligent with my feet and tend to be noisy. I get my coffee going and then get to my writing. Don’t know if it’s the typing, but my husband wakes up shortly after. I didn’t think I was that loud with the typing, but, guess I must be if he woke up with it. Today I write to my cousins to see how they are doing and to see if they have any ideas as to what I can do for my parents. Keep them here in the USA or maybe send them over to their motherland. Figuring out our options and seeing if my girls have any ideas to help us out. Hopefully, they have some sort of idea that will fulfill a solution for us. I feel for my parents and I would like the best for them overall. I have to write them in Portuguese and have to use google translator to help out with some words and phrases. Google user Brazilian Portuguese but that’s ok, I can figure out how to turn it into what I need. For breakfast, my little one wants bacon and eggs. Daddy doesn’t hesitate. He gets right to work on making what she wants for breakfast. He’s a pleaser like that. Then he had the idea that he wants bagels for breakfast. He finishes off the bacon and heads on over to the bagel store. Meanwhile, we stay home and my little on is creating a video of her playing with her LPS toys. She plays, talks for them and sings along. It’s very cute. Shortly after, my husband comes home with bagels and cream cheese. We all sit down on our kitchen table and have ourselves a nice long breakfast. In the afternoon I have chores to do. I dust out the bedroom, clean the mirrors, clean the filter for the air-conditioned then vacuum the whole thing. I change the sheets from the bed then use a Swiffer wipe the floor to finish it off. Haven’t done this in a while and it is a good day to get it all done. It is a rainy day an it is a good day to do indoor chores. I’ve added all of this to my little book of tasks and then get the satisfaction of crossing it off my list as completed. Next, I need to look into pet insurance. I’ve looked in the past and not gonna lie, I got a bit overwhelmed with all of the information and options. However, our veterinarian made a recommendation and I am in charge of getting all of the information and seeing how much it will cost to have insurance for our Rufus. My husband will then make the phone calls to see if he can negotiate a better deal. He is very good at that. Better than I’ll ever be at negotiating. Today is a rainy day and we are having trouble getting the dog to do his business quickly. He poops on the carpet, but we can’t yell at him. His time was due to go outside and do his business. It was pouring outside so we decided to wait it out a little bit longer than usual. I had him sit on the little pad that we have for him to do his business inside the house, but he didn’t get it and pooped on the carpet instead. My dog is an odd bird because he doesn’t just poop in one spot. He drags his behind and drops pieces here and there. What he did in the house was no different. Unfortunately, I didn’t see one of his droppings, so I stepped on it. Darn it Rufus!! I clean off the mess from the carpet then take my socks off and put them in the hamper to wash off the poop. And the weather continues to not cooperate. It keeps on raining. And it rains all day long. In the afternoon we decided that it would be a good time to go out and get the pup a rain jacket. If the rain keeps up he doesn’t do his business on the weeweepads nor on the patch of grass we’ve gotten him to do his business inside the house, we’ll need to get him outside. Then he’ll smell like a wet dog, even though I clean him up with a doggie wipe down wipe that smells like lavender. It doesn’t really help, he’s still stinky. Every pet store that we went to were sold out of the doggie rain gear. However, they did have a nice save the planet t-shirt that my husband bought for him. His idea is for the dog to wear clothing so he gets used to having a shirt of jacket on. We don’t want him to get wet in the spring and summer months and then in the winter, we don’t want him to freeze when we place him outside to do his business or just simply to play a bit outdoors. We also have a new collar that has a little blue bow on it and he looks so dapper. He is in need of another bath after this weekend. But the veterinarian mentioned that it would be best for him to be bathed only once per month. If it’s more than that the oils on his skin and coat could get dry and he may be uncomfortable and then have dry skin which can lead to rashes. If it was up to my mother in law, he would have a bath every week or so. Oh well we will see how smelly he gets then we will take it from there. Looking around for raingear took all afternoon. We then were hungry and were thinking of what to have for dinner. At this point I am a bit hungry and could go for food. Any food really. I’m not that picky. There are a few things that I don’t like to eat, but I don’t necessarily have cravings for any particular type of cuisine. My mother in law suggested cooked sushi from the local Japanese restaurant that we go to. So we drive on over there and place our order. We order enough so that we have some left over for tomorrow. My husband likes to eat the leftovers the next day at around eleven as a midday snack. We order rolls called ‘Pink Lady, Out of Control, Christmas Santa, Sunrise’ and other silly named rolls. We take them home and they are delicious. We also open up a bottle of wine as tomorrow is a holiday and we get to sleep in for a while longer. We have ourselves a rose called sparkling angel. It was potent and it paired well with our dinner. Shortly after dinner, I am ready for bed. It is again way passed my bedtime and I am a bit tired from the days’ cleaning bit. Also, it is still raining out there and it is chilly. Having my warm pjs on is heavenly. I bid everyone good night and get to bed. I’m looking through some of my social media and then shortly after I fall asleep.
Isabel's world 